Green Earrings, Token Win

The Mets didn’t win on Opening Night tonight — for the 29th time against 17 Opening Day losses — because Carlos Delgado hit a two-run double in the third inning that gave the Mets all the runs they needed.

They didn’t win because Tom Glavine was virtually unhittable for the first six innings.

They didn’t win because the Mets’ stellar defense turned four double plays.

They won because of my earrings.

Subway tokens (from 2001, right before 9/11) on brass-plated earloops.

Plus I wore a light-up Mets hat, but since I never turned on the lights I doubt that had anything to do with it.

Earrings, baby.

OK, gigglesnort if you must. But how else to explain the preponderance of team-related gear and other tchotchkes available for sale out there these days, if people didn’t somehow think all the fooforaw would help “their” teams win?

When I was a kid, eight bajillion million centuries ago, there were t-shirts, polyester hats, pennants, little stuffed animal thingies maybe, and that was it. Now you can buy replica stadia, coffee tables, beanbags, jerseys and hats and jackets and undershirts exactly like the players wear in every possible size including infant sizes, autographed bats, music boxes, mint tins (no, I’m not kidding about that one), nacho-making kits, remote-controlled mini bullpen carts, bobbleheads, bears, lifesized cardboard cutouts, golf divots, jewelry for every conceivable body part and a few inconceivable ones…somewhere, somebody has the money (or at least the room on their plastic) for everything with their favorite team’s logo on it, and they buy it all, and often dedicate entire rooms to Team Stuff (or at least cardboard boxes overflowing with it). Does anybody, even an Orthodox Jewish man, really critically “need” a Mets yarmulke? And yet, you know you want one. And it’s all good. Because we won, and I cannot tell you for sure that somebody’s yarmie didn’t make the crucial difference on Glavine’s changeup tonight.

Still, I’m partial to the homemade offerings. A future post will detail how to crochet a Mets lei or flower scarf. I’m working on one as we speak.