Last night, the Mets took advantage of some hair-fryingly stupid in-game “strategy” from the opposing manager to beat the Cubs on a bases-loaded walk, 5-4. OK, let’s rack ‘em. You (the Cubs) have a relief pitcher (Michael Wuertz) on the mound with a tie score in the bottom of the ninth. You have jackrabbits (Jose Reyes and Endy Chavez) on second and first with two outs, the latter of whom reached on a walk, and it’s obvious your pitcher couldn’t throw strikes if the plate was moved two inches from the end of his runny nostrils. Your pitcher is facing Carlos Beltran with Carlos Delgado on deck, and he has a 3-1 count on Beltran. And your manager decides to go ahead and walk Beltran intentionally to load the bases, putting the winning run on third base. So what happens next? Does Michael Wuertz suddenly figure out how to get the ball over the plate, or does he manage to walk Delgado too, and force in the winning run? Take a look at the final score and find out. Ewwwwwww.

That opposing manager’s name? Lou Piniella. A man who keeps getting managerial jobs because…why again? Oh yeah. Because of fawning press coverage like this and this. They want this guy to come back to New York and do what he didn’t manage (sorry) to do in 1986 and 1987, which is make the poor Yankees win by sheer force of personality (by which they mean frequency of upending clubhouse buffet tables). Well, at least Wallace Matthews admitted a sliver of the truth in his own pro-Lou droolfest:

It’s just too bad he isn’t managing here. You can’t help wondering what would have happened if George Steinbrenner had done what he wanted to do after the Yankees collapsed against the Tigers in last year’s ALDS. What if he had fired Joe Torre? What if he had brought back Piniella? The Yankees might be every bit as bad as they are now - like the Cubs, they are 17-19 and way behind in the division - but a lot more fun to cover.

Yes, never forget that managers are hired for the amusement of reporters, not because they actually know what they’re doing.

I could just picture it if Lou (rhymes with ewwwwwww) ever pulled something like the shenanigans from last night while managing in New York and it cost the Yankees a game. Or ten. That “I’m the anti-Torre” act sure would wear thin in a hurry, wouldn’t it? Gee, it’s too bad they didn’t think to snatch Louewwwwww away from the Cubbies while they still could’ve. Mets fans would be eating it up like soggy nachos, hearing about him flinging headcheese in the nude around the Yankee clubhouse, trying to “motivate” players who, apparently, aren’t already sufficiently embarrassed to be 8.5 games behind the Red Sox in mid-May, and watching the Yankees continue to Loooouse and Loooouse and Loooouse. Somehow the Paid Sports Media has this notion that you goose multimillionaire veteran major leaguers into winning the way you do the Bad News Bears, and somehow general managers keep falling for it.

As long as one of them isn’t Omar, it’s fine with me.