How much of a Metsochist are you? Take my quickie quiz and find out.

1. I think Tom Glavine is:

a. A blackhearted mole sent over to the Mets in greatest secrecy in 2003, under the guise of signing with the Mets as a free agent, for the express purpose of losing key games to the Braves intentionally.

b. An overpriced has-been who the Braves were smart to pass on re-signing when they did.

c. Still a pretty damn good pitcher, even if he’s not at his absolute peak at age 41 — plenty of teams probably wish they had him, maybe even including the Braves.

2. I think the Braves:

a. Are still the best team in the National League — they may be behind the Mets now but that won’t last long, it never does. “We” really have no business playing them, they kill “us” every series, always have and always will.

b. Have a tendency to put all their energy into beating the Mets, then turn around and get pasted by other teams in subsequent series, which is why they’re still in second place.

c. Will probably be in the division race right down to the end, and that’s probably a good thing — better the Mets should have to fight for a playoff berth, rather than waltz to one like they did last year and peak too soon.

3. I think the wild card:

a. Is for chumps who weren’t good enough to win their division — it’s a cheater’s berth, it will never count in my mind, ever.

b. Is a perfectly fine way to capture a flag — the last five World Series had at least one wild-card pennant winner, after all, and Red Sox fans aren’t exactly complaining that their 2004 champs were WC winners instead of division winners.

c. Would be great, but the Mets probably don’t have what it takes to win it.

If you answered a, a, and c, you feed your Metsochism with an eyedropper like it was a starving kitten.

If you answered c, c, and b, you are Nellie Forbush. Or maybe this guy.

My answers? All of them, depending on what inning you asked me in.

Tonight it seemed like the Braves led quite the charmed existence — how about that umpiring squad, huh? Not content to let Angel Hernandez, the second base umpire, have all the fun inflaming the Mets with brain-frying calls the way he’s always done, first base umpire Larry Young let loose with a doozie on David Wright with the bases loaded and two outs in the third inning, calling him out on a third strike on an appealed check swing that was so obviously not a swing that the normally insouciant Mr. Wright actually threw his bat and his helmet in outrage. Home plate umpire Mark Carlson’s Silly Putty strike zone constantly benefitted Braves starter John Smoltz (whose 200th career win this was) and squoze Glavine over and over and over again. And yes, the bleary-eyed Mr. Hernandez couldn’t resist getting into the act, calling Kelly Johnson safe on a steal attempt in the seventh inning when it was clear to anyone with half a cornea that Johnson’s fingers never touched the bag.

It’s like the ump crew all got together and said, “Let’s make this a very special night for Braves fans.” I expect equal dispensation when Glavine goes after his 300th, which should come up in the next two months unless he gets stuck with the same Bad Eye Bunch on every start.

On to Florida, and all the palm bark they can eat.